Spanish sunset on an Italian shore
by maozhao
Summary: "Was I not the one who could save him even though he's the one who saved me?" Romano mused as he watch the sunrise beside his dying lover. Rated T just to be sure, AU so human names used Tragic, character death, Lovino's POV, Spamano, READ AND REVIEW please


**Hello readers! **

**I wanted to write a tragic story and this plot came up to me when I first listened to the song 'Safe and Sound' by Taylor Swift feat. the Civil Wars.**

**I Initially planned to write it with Spain and Romano as Soldiers from the Spanish Civil war, but yours truly is lazy to do some research (because at the same time I'm a perfectionist) so It ended up this way**

**Anyway, Reviews would be lovely, harsh or not it is welcome.**

**I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, Antonio Carriedo and Lovino 'Romano' Vargas**

I never imagined, not in this lifetime that I'll be sitting on a shore and will watch the sun rise, watches it gives me a vermillion-like color, a mix of red and orange, with a certain man beside me, a certain important man in my life. This bastard wanted to go to the beach, to go and visit the sea. He was so determined that he suddenly appeared in the middle of the night and dragged me out of the house then drove through cities and towns just to get to Palermo from Caltanissetta. He's crazy, he's a crazy bastard…but he's my crazy bastard and I love him.

Would you believe it? Me? Lovino 'Romano' Vargas, a womanizer, a woman lover or whatever fuck that is called fell for a guy, his uncle no less? We're not really blood related though. His mother, who I must say is a very lovely Spanish woman, and my grandfather, yes grandfather now shut up, had an affair that's why we're somewhat connected, that Spaniard and I.

I won't be able to forget the moment that Spanish man laid eyes on me, those vibrant emerald orbs sinking into my very core. I won't be able to forget how those eyes manage to make me shudder with just one glance. I won't ever forget how I saw life in those eyes, a life I wanted to be a part of. And I never thought someone as…as beautiful as him would fall in love with someone dull and ugly like me.

We meet during a reunion our family had at our 'manor' at Sicily a few years back. It was a disaster, well at least for my part, everyone knows everyone except for me. Even my little brother knows everyone; I turned around for a moment to look for the old man and when I returned I saw Feliciano being all chummy to the relatives leaving me all alone. But I'm used to it; I'm used to be alone while my brother takes all.

Feliciano, he knows how to steal the limelight, the spotlight and points it to him because he's perfect, he's friendly and well liked unlike me who's grumpy and just plain difficult, he who has all the skills in cooking, painting or sketching, singing and even dancing. It's like when god poured out skills for humanity Feliciano was in front absorbing all the talents.

I'm not sure myself what this bastard, this man beside me, saw in me but whatever it is I'm thankful I have it. It helped me be seen, be visible, be looked at with his gentle eyes that encourages me to shrug the scrutinizing eyes on me.

I admit I had a silly man crush on him the moment we exchanged glances. But who wouldn't? I have never seen eyes brighter than his, smile captivating like his and touch gentle as his. Fuck, what I am saying? But it's true he's the most perfect embodiment of a man I ever know. But first impression last, and it wasn't that good. For some reason he knew my name, he came up to me and pulled me suddenly into a tight hug like we haven't seen each other for a long time.

Apparently the bastard already knew who I was; he was watching me even before he crossed paths. It makes me wonder even more what that Spaniard sees on me, what he saw in me that made him love me so much if he already knew how ugly and difficult I can be.

He's probably the most irritatingly stubborn, defiant yet caring and loving person I ever had in my life. Yes, my little brother loves me, my parents and grandparents love me but not as much as this Spanish idiot does. He followed me every day during that reunion and even after it, he gave me all his attention, he would suddenly hug me and even kiss me on my cheeks! I tell you, it was worst than how I describe it. He was so affectionate not only towards me but with everyone. But he said I was special, that he loves me more that anyone. His personality and determination and my longing for someone developed my man crush into an intense feeling towards him, love.

I love him as much as he loves me and I was shocked that no one opposed to our supposed to be forbidden love, not even Nonno. I was happy at this; I was delighted I tell you. At last I have someone I call my own, someone who truly loves me for my dull-ness and my rude personality not because I'm rich and well known. Someone who sees my imperfection as perfect, someone who gives me unconditional love, someone named Antonio Carriedo.

But it seems that my fairy tale doesn't have a happy ending. A year ago I found out the twist in my love story. A fatal brain tumor is killing him, making him live not more than 6 months. Just when I thought I can finally be happy and satisfied with my life, this came up. Why didn't I saw this earlier? This wicked twist to the love story which was too easy and too fast? No wonder my relatives didn't oppose to our relationship because eventually he'll leave me for good. I thought that god finally gave me something to hold on to my dull life, a color to my gray destiny but in reality he gave me some sort of punishment. It's like I wasn't allowed to be happy, to be satisfied with how my life goes for once. It was cruel; god is cruel towards me that he'll take away the only thing in this word that I don't ever want to lose.

The following week after I found out his sickness was hell for the both of us. We argued every day, every single day of that horrible week. It was the worst week of my life. I continued to cry and cry myself to sleep; I was losing hope for happiness I crave. However the one who is dying was the strongest, is the one who is acting firm and steady while I break down. How can I find someone like him again? There's no one. He's the only person I would love; he's the only Antonio Carriedo, the 'sun' of my life.

Earlier, as we are on a short stop, he broke down, he told me over and over and over again how he didn't want to die, how meeting me changed his views on life. How he accepted his fate, that he'll die soon, yet meeting me changed it, meeting me made him want to live longer. We both cried inside the car, hugging and clutching to each other since our lives depends on each other. Both of us can't accept the fact that Antonio is dying. I can't fully accept that time is ticking and that sooner or later he'll be taken away from me. I tried to calm him down, that I'll be with him no matter what, "Just give me 3 meals a day, a nap with a pasta" I said jokingly at him, and he laughed, bitterly, but at the very least he smiled after.

So we seat here now, near the endless shore of Palermo, where the sun is currently rising, giving me a warm feeling, giving us the warmth we needed since it was a cold night. His hands are laced with mine, as tight as he could and his breathing…his breathing, shallow than before. We both watch how the grand sun makes his entrance.

"Hey Roma, mi amor, what do you think the color of heaven is?" He spoke to me, with his deep and accented voice, his soothing voice that always puts me to sleep. It was like the first time I heard it as it sends shivers to me, like he's shaking my entire body with just his voice.

"I-...I don't know bastard" I answered shakily even if I tried so hard not to. He took a deep breath and his hand tightens around mine "I'll tell you…" he said in a hushed voice. "It's blue…like the sea" he said as he breathes out heavily and turns to look at the sea, and I looked at the sea. "It's blue…like the sky" he said softly as he looked up at the sky, and I turned to look at the sky and view its magnificence and splendid hue of red and orange overwhelming the purple and navy color.

The crisp air suddenly whipped me, gently but firm. I relax to the touch of the wind to my face. It was warm but cool at the same time, but it was certainly relaxing. It like its telling me to remember all the beautiful memories u shared with this gentle wind. I opened my mouth to say that the sky is not blue anymore when I felt a heavy weight on my shoulder. I turned to see that my Antonio had leaned his head on me.

I stared at him, watching him carefully and patiently as my eyes started to water, my eyes softens as I reach out and brush some stray hair of his handsome face. "Ti amo...così tanto" I said as I stroke his cheeks with my thumb and place a small kiss on it. "S-sempre" I added before breaking down to a fits of sobs but I didn't move, I let his body leans against mine, maintain our position…not wanting to miss anything from him at this moment. His warmth, his gentle smile that is plastered on his lips, and his hands against mine.

Antonio's the only one who truly loved me for being me; he's the only one who really loved me. Why did he have to leave me alone…? Was I not worthy of him, of his unconditional love that oozes out of his being? Was I not the one who could save him even though he's the one who saved me? What is wrong with me that I cannot attaint utter happiness? Why won't I have the only thing that I want in this world, why can't I have love that I need?

I'll never hear his soothing voice singing me a sappy love song, I'll never eat his Spanish food he took pride in, and I'll never hear him playing his guitar anymore. I can never see and gaze at his handsome face or touch his beautiful and perfect body. He'll never be beside me every storm that would pass, there's no more valentines kisses, no more gifts to exchange with during Christmas. Our love was short lived but I know I'll never love someone as much as I loved Antonio.

After sometime, after gathering enough courage and air, I called Feliciano and Antonio's mother and told them the sad news. As I wait for them to arrive I watched the sun be released by the sea. Watch it as it gradually rise, making itself my companion as I let my lover 'sleep' beside me.

Time passed and soon the sun is high above the sky, the blue sky along with white clouds. I squeezed the hands against mine one last time, its warmth slowly cools. The weight on my shoulder was heavier than earlier but nothing changed at the shore as me and my love is still sitting peacefully on the sand with the sun and the sea and the sound of the water splashing. I turned around to see that my little brother and Antonio's mother already waiting for me, watching me with such sad eyes. Slowly they walked towards me and pull me to a hug, a tight comforting hug. I hugged them back but never did I release the hands that held mine, I will never.

I didn't realize until I felt the shoulder I was leaning on was already damp, I was crying again. And then I sobbed like I never did before. I cried for the man that I lost and the love that I'll never ever find again. Even though the sun had risen, giving us warmth, giving us life I told them that my sun… had set.

**How is it? **

**Again, Constructive criticism is much appreciated :) **

**Reviesw, por favor! **


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